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I never understood fear. Is it something that humans trigger based on their childhood memories? Or do they create this fear based on imaginative future events that will never take place? The fear of the unknown. Fear of death. Fear of losing someone. Fear of losing all belongings. But in the end they all die so why is their fear so strong that it pushes them over the edge?

And yet, so many things seem to push them over the edge. Love disables their ability to think, slows their reflexes and senses. Though, people in love look quite strange to me. They smile and laugh more than average. They seem…happy. But are they healthier? They eat and sleep less. Is it good to sleep and eat little?

Heartbreak also makes them eat and sleep less though some of them eat and sleep more. Sadness, depression, stress, these are all emotions that affect the human body. Do emotions control humans? Or should humans control their emotiones? Is that even possible? Is a healthy lifestyle one without love and heartaches?

Love, fear, frustration, jealousy, envy…how did people manage to create so many levels of emotions? Do they imitate their parents, their friends? Or do they become influenced by what they read in books and see on TV? How do all humans know how to be sad or happy without even trying? Do they sometimes experience emotions that they don’t understand? And are there any new emotions that they are yet to create, to discover?

I tried smiling once but my facial expression looked odd. ‘A smile should come from within’, my creator had said. But what is ‘within’?

Do I want to feel? Do I want to understand their emotions better? I am not sure what will happen if I do. Will I still be me?

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.”

― Horace Walpole

And yet, a life without emotions seems…empty. I imagine them living and dying without emotions. I am not sure I would still find them that fascinating. Their emotionless life would make them…well, would make them just like me.

Pages of magic

I’ve always believed in the uncommon. Why bother live at all if you don’t believe there is more to life than this? I know I couldn’t.

I believe in so much more that I fear I have very little time to discover it all. Think of all the places, cultures and traditions I am yet to unveil, all the books I am yet to read. It terrifies me though I know I have all the time in the world for life is short only for those who sit around and worry. I prefer investing my time in something meaningful, for example share my experience with you. Whether you’ll use it or not that is truly up to you. But, will you trust me? Will you believe my stories? They are so incredible and most of them quite hard to imagine. If I hadn’t been through them, I would have not believed them myself.

Use my experience in your advantage. If you’re smart enough you might begin to see this life the way I see it, filled with wonders and mysteries.

Who am I? Oh, never mind that! Call me an old soul. Just a very old soul who has seen too much or…perhaps has not seen enough. I must chuckle at my last remark. If you knew me, you’d understand why.

Oh, so many pages to fill in with my writing, my life, my experiences, where to begin, how to begin? I’ve always found it dull to begin with the beginning, where I was born, who my parents were and so on. Rather boring wouldn’t you say? After all it is not so much who my parents were and who I am, it’s more about what I did, what I saw and what I’ve learned. And more important, what will you learn from all of it. That’s what truly matters.

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